Introduction Boomer Athena Et Cetera Fanlisting Site
Fear
One of Boomer's biggest emotions is fear -- fear of what she is and fear of what she'll do. I think most people would be scared of what being a Cylon means for them -- being caught, hated, killed. Boomer's initial fear is selfish like that, but what's really admirable about Boomer is that her fear changes. She becomes not so scared of what will happen to her as a Cylon, but what she'll end up doing as one. She worries about the destruction she'll cause, and more so the people she'll hurt.
Boomer is actually a very caring person. We learn this through many things, namely her reaction to leaving Helo behind on Caprica and the connection she develops with a boy she saved there. That kid ends up looking up to her, and she not only worries about him, but tries to take care of him, introducing him to people, finding a place for him on Galactica, and making him feel like he belongs. It's hard to see that Boomer would want to hurt anyone.
I think her attempted suicide is a result of not wanting to hurt anyone more than a result of depression. Boomer spent her entire adult life fighting evil, and discovering what she is leads her to believe that what is evil is herself.
Sometimes I have these dark thoughts. I'm afraid I'm going to hurt someone. I feel like I've got to be stopped.
Gaius tells Boomer that there are far worse things than death, and that life can be a curse as well as a blessing. While I feel Gaius' motives were personal and selfish, his words rang true for Boomer. Instead of trying to make a new way of life after her discovery, she thinks it's easier to end her life, and in that way a person might think she is just as selfish. I think she's the complete opposite though; she's selfless. After the water tanks incident, she knew what her body was capable of, and she thought she wouldn't be able to control it.
That's where I think she was wrong, however. On a mission to find water, Boomer was detecting water and lying about it. I think that was the Cylon part of her taking over. She begins to struggle with herself, like she wants to say she found water, but can't. She runs her hand over a G-4 beside her seat, unaware of how it got there, and somehow she breaks free and regains control of herself, letting her copilot know that she found water. I think if she fights her urges hard enough, she can break free from her Cylon programming and have a free will. Boomer either doesn't want to think about it, or doesn't want to try.
The way Boomer sees it, ending her own life would possibly save others. That's what I believe her heart was telling her, and when Gaius told her to listen to her heart, suicide was her only option.
For whatever reason, Boomer's suicide was unsuccessful, and her worst fears took shape. On the Cylon Basestar right outside of Kobol, Boomer is encountered by many copies of herself. They tell her that she can't run from destiny and that they love her. She yells back firmly, "I am not a Cylon!"
I thought that gave her enough drive to fight her Cylon instincts and live her own life. Upon returning to Galactica, though, she loses control to her instincts and shoots the Commander.
Silent Lucidity was created and is maintained by me, Todd, and is part of Dragonzord,net. This shrine was made for fun and is entirely non-profit. It is made up of my own personal opinions and perception. Sadly, I don't own the Eights or Battlestar Galactica. They are property of SciFi. Please don't sue me.